Calum Scott

Robi | UK

I don’t even know where to start. My father beat me since I was 8 months old. Also my mom. At age 16 he beat my mom to death in front of me and I was made to stay with him. Wanted to kill myself few weeks later, ended up in hospital in coma for 11 days. Then I left hospital and he committed suicide jumping off 11 stories building. I was on my own at 16 and half. So I had to do everything on my own. At 18 I was diagnosed with leukaemia…because I had none to look after me I spent over two year in hospital because of my condition and waiting for a donor. I had two bone marrow transplant - first was rejected by my system 6 weeks after and I was kept in isolation for few months in almost dead state… then I got another one from my uncle and this one saved my life…And meantime I was doing school to keep myself busy and educated because didn’t wanted to fall behind with education. Then I let hospital after 29 months and I have graduated from school. And 6 months later I was in another city about to start my university and also I met my first partner. I have graduated from my uni after 5 years. I couldn’t find a job and we have decided to move to another country - UK exactly. 3 years after we arrived here my godmother and grandfather had been stabbed to death by one of the members of my family. And 3 years later I have broken up with my partner of 13 years and I met my current husband. Also this year 2022 I was diagnosed with severe complex PTSD. In February I wanted to kill myself, depression and struggles pushed me to the edge but I found support and I fought for my future, I have sorted my head because I knew my mom after what she been through would not appreciate the fact I killed myself because I felt overwhelmed and hopeless. She has sacrificed her own life and dedicated herself to raise me as good man and human being. I have never taken any drugs, never smoked. It is hard at times in our lives when we feel overwhelmed but thank to my therapist I understand what and where was my problem. I found reason why I am who I am , who I have become after all this unfortunate but still being here fighting, appreciating what is here right now , who I am surrounded with… my therapist has said that I am in less than 1% of population with a level of strength and resilience because I have graduated, I am alive, I am trying to make myself happy, I asked for help, I did not make that step because I knew deep down there in my heart there is will to live and I have been brought up to be a fighter, not to give up easily. We are who we are and the most important thing is be yourself, do not try be someone else because this makes you look like a copy cat. Don’t try to like everybody because you don’t even like everybody. Be happy, enjoy your life because there only one life given to us and we need to realise that once we cross “that line” there is no way back. Being strong and having dreams and hobby, friends, family and support is something that we all need …and rest comes with time and is a bonus, addition to our life. Smile. Breath with your full chest. Slow down. Make every day like it was your last one. Don’t look back, stop relying on the past - this is behind us and will never come back and even if is haunting us we are strong enough to contest it and fight for our well-being. Life is not easy to anybody but we only can change certain things and make changes. Fight. Find reason. Enjoy. Be yourself. Be careful. Be brave.

Robi x